How's your wife?

Tips and Tricks for Committed Relationships
Today's Tip: Don't share your relationship troubles with the opposite sex

I'm not a professional on human behavior, but it is my belief that women who don't know me have ulterior motives when, "How's your wife?" is the first thing they say when they see my husband.

I call it a phishing technique. In my field (IT) phish means to “fish” for passwords and personal information by trickery.

If I am right, "How's your wife" is a discreet way to find out how things are going at home. It's my husband's opening to say either, " Oh she's great, I love her so much." or " I don't really know. We do more arguing than anything else".

If he says the later, then CRRRRRRRRRREAKKKK! you hear that? That's the sound of the door of vulnerability opening up in your marriage. Guess whose got her foot wedged in the door? Don't be surprised if she offers to listen to his gripes, be his shoulder to cry on, and be whatever else he needs her to be.

Ok maybe I'm a bit cynical but it happens. A good way to undermine your committed relationship is to complain about your partner to a member of the opposite sex. Just don't do it. Lie if you must. Yes I am endorsing deceit in this in this case. If you and your partner are having rough times, lie and say things are great.

Sharing your relationship troubles (in this manner) won't help you solve the problem. When you share such emotions with another person (of the opposite sex)it can create an inappropriate bond.

On the flip side, you should avoid listening to a married person (particularly of the opposite sex) complain about their spouse. Don't be that person. Encourage them to talk to their spouse, a counselor or ask them to pray about it. You won't help the situation by becoming the other woman ( or man).


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